It’s been weeks since I’ve even logged into the blog and for some reason I feel like I should apologize. I’m not going to, though, because I really enjoyed it. It’s also been weeks since I’ve painted any furniture. More than weeks, more like a few months. Again, totally cool with this because I freeze when the temps drop below 65 degrees. It’s science. Have you seen the “rent is too dang high” video? That’s the kinda rant you’ll catch me in during cold weather.
Anyway, last summer (I’m so behind on project sharing) I followed a tiny garage sale sign into the boonies somewhere between Roswell and Woodstock. It might be a *fish tale but the way I remember it, the signs were written on notebook paper with a fine point sharpie. I remember wondering how I even saw the sign from the road. While I was driving into the depths of a very sketchy trailer park type situation, I kept looking for a place to turn around. I was becoming more convinced by the minute that this sale had nothing to offer me. Then I saw a dirty, blank-faced, barefooted, red-rum-looking child holding a neon posterboard that said “turn here”. Oh okay, will do. I wondered what my last words to my husband were…
As I pulled up, I saw this set:
I jumped right out of my car and made my way down a rocky hill into a tall chain-link fenced area. There was a guy rubbing some stuff all over the set so I browsed the other goods (looked for an escape route) and waited for him to look up. I asked how much. Thirty for the set.
“Okay, this is a friggin’ set up.” I thought. Either this guy has a gun or John Quinones is hiding behind that washing machine.
“Deal!” I walked backwards to my car to get my wallet. I had a twenty dollar bill and 6 bucks in change. He took it and helped me load it up. I seriously could not believe it. ONE of these brass pulls is worth more than that. While we were loading, I caught a whiff of the stuff he had been rubbing it down with when I got there. I asked what it was and he said it was something he uses to “make the furniture shine”…. Pledge? Whatever, lets load this sucker. We wedged the set into the car and when I got home I noticed that there was brown ick all over the place. On me, on the car interior, everywhere. “Man, I think this dude’s Pledge has expired.” Duh, idiot. It was stain! He had just rubbed gel stain allllll over the thing right when I pulled up.
Not my best day, brain-wise. 
I was able to wipe it off with a cloth, that’s how fresh it was. I wiped it all down, then started to sand. I couldn’t decide on painting it or staining it but after I got a better look at the shape it was in, I knew it could only live in paint. There were lots of (for lack of a better work) pockmarks in the wood. Like, they were supposed to be there. I’m sure there’s a name for this. I call it ugly.
So, I gave it a rough sand and then filled every.single.hole. Which was a nightmare.
So many. On the drawer fronts, too.
The base of the piece looked like it had been sitting in water so it had to be replaced, which wasn’t super hard since I used the old base as a template.
The dresser was missing some hardware so I robbed it from the nightstand. The drawer glide for the nightstand was also jacked up and I decided that I didn’t want to fix it and that I just generally didn’t want it altogether. So I listed it on Facebook. For $25. Are you mathing right now?! One dollar. This dresser was one dollar.
After sanding, filling, sanding again, and a good coat of primer, I put her on my dolly and pushed her into the paint booth. (For more specific details on my painting process check this page)
Here she is!
One dollar make me holler! Since I got this thing for almost free, I sprung for some Behr Marquee in Secret Society. A close second to SW’s Hale Navy.
The left door went back on a little weird making the right door a little harder to close, as you can see in the pic – unless you didn’t notice, then forget I said that. I’ll fix it one day….
I gave the hardware a tiny wipe down but really like the patina it has so I left it. Plus it matches the hardware on our mid-century nightstands better.
I’m pretty happy about the hole-filling situation. It actually turned out better than I hoped. I went ahead and painted it in a satin sheen to help deflect attention to any surface imperfections just in case I missed a spot. Also, I don’t consider myself fancy enough for a high gloss piece. I would have to upgrade the whole bedroom to get on that level…. and I’d just rather sleep.
Getting this monster up the stairs? Another nightmare.
Basically, I’m really happy to be done with this.
Also really happy that it no longer smells like underpants.
*fish tale – an extreme exaggeration of the truth; a ridiculous elaboration.
dena@heartsandsharts.com
I happen to get your humor. I find you quite amusing. Keep it up!
Thank you, Jen!
Love the furniture makeover! Wish you were my neighbor. Oh what trouble we could get into.
Thank you, Sandra! I’m pretty good at getting into trouble… 😉
Fantastic makeover & worth every bit of effort. I’m fairly new to the blog and really enjoy your blog, your ideas and your personality!
Thank you so much, Mandy!!!
Gorgeous makeover, Dena! I love that color, it is perfectly complementary to that amazing hardware. love it!!
Hey Kimm! Thank you tons!
That was so nice of you not to tell TamLee she has a stick up her..anyway you rock. I am smart enough to know tongue in cheek when I read it. For TamLee: The tongue-in-cheek figure of speech is used to imply that a statement or other production is humorously or otherwise not seriously intended, and it should not be taken at face value. I wonder if she has her own SOUR Blog?
Hey Boo! Gosh, did you know that blogs like that exist? Just to rip people apart. Such a waste of time… Thank you!
As I am helping my seven year olds with their vocabulary list, I would describe your posts as witty; when you say something in a clever and funny way. I am just going to say that I, personally, enjoy and appreciate reading your humorous posts. I totally get you! Keep up the great work:-)
Michele! I was nominated for Most Witty my senior year in high school. I lost, which I think is funny. Thank you for the sweet words, Michele!
Are you mathing? ha ha lol. 🙂
Nice score and that color is gorgeous with the brass. Well done!
Thank you, Cathi! Mathing… that’s a verb right?
I LOVE LOVE the color. What a super great deal. It was worth the trouble wasn’t it? I love it when I can get a great deal and then brag about it. I look forward to more posts. Don’t be bothered by one person with a bad attitute. You handled yourself well.
Thank you, Kim!!
I don’t know what it is – but – I follow a quilting blog. She travels around teaching and where ever she is she finds these amazing deals, just like you. I visit the thrift stores and a couple of consignment shops and have never come across such deals. You are so lucky! Beautiful job on the dresser.
Thank you, Kathy! I think it’s more about volume than luck. When I say I brake for thrift stores and yard sales, I mean it. It’s like I can’t go to the grocery store without passing a sale and having this fear of missing out on a great deal. I leave empty handed a lot, which isn’t worth writing about so you only see the really good stuff. 🙂
I call your wretched attitude in describing your “find” disgusting. Beautiful makeover for the furniture, try making over your attitude next.
Thank you for your constructive criticism, TamLee. As stated clearly in the beginning of the post, this was a “fish tale” (definition shared at the bottom of the post). Highly over exaggerated to emphasize the point that this was one of those situations where the whole thing was a “nightmare”; finding the dresser down a long road with no signs, getting the thing in the car, doing the work on it, etc. I can understand your viewpoint of me based on this single post, I can. However, if you looked around the site a bit, you would see that this is a fun, joking environment that offers DIY ideas and inspiration. You would also find that I spend a good deal of my time doing several of these makeovers for a charity called Dwell with Dignity, for which I am their DIY Lead in their provisional here in Atlanta. As I would not judge you based on one single experience, I simply ask that you do the same.
I love this blogger’s attitude. Clever and funny. People take themselves way too seriously. I’ve been in similar Craigslist situations where I was saying silent prayers while someone lead me through their dark house on an out-of-the-way property for a great deal. And your furniture makeovers are even better. Keep on doing what you do. 🙂
Ooooh, Craigslist can be very scary these days. Glad you gotta great deal out of it! Be careful out there thrifting! Thank you for the support, Michelle!
I love this blog post. Please blog more often!! I am so impressed. You are a rockstar!!
Thank you, Joann! So sweet! I’ve been hibernating for the past couple of weeks. Thank you!!!