Babes! Halloween is almost here!
It’s that amazing time of year when pouring PSL’s down your throat, gorging yourself on candy and dressing like a total slut is completely acceptable. Minus that last part. I could go on a rant about slutty costumes forever. Yeah, I did it once a decade ago, but I was an idiot. Flex your brain muscle and put a little more creativity into your costume than just T & A. Halloween is not a free pass to run around naked. That’s all I have to say about that.
So, if you’re looking for some handmade, whore-free, Halloween inspiration, here we go…
It’s kind of the classy version of the pimp & ho costume… if that’s even possible. Fully clothed, though, ftw.
Make some simple DIY shirts for an easy couples costume – Fair Weather Fans:
Hit the thrift store and be J.R. Ewing. Obscure & old school is always funny. Respect that ‘stache.
Pair a messy blonde wig with a rock t-shirt and be Dee Snider:
Or use the same wig and pair with a fanny pack, felt ‘stache and muscle T for the perfect Hulk Hogan costume. Hulkamania, bruther!
A little DIY bow tie and boom! You’re Jerry Jones!
Wear your regular work clothes with a Superman shirt underneath and be Clark Kent. So easy.
Dollar store frames: Urkel.
Work clothes + a ruler + black glasses = Naughty Teacher. With no skin showing. Imagine that.
Okay, this next one is super ridiculous but one of my favorite costumes ever. I was a version of Bernice from the movie Dodge Ball – a little girl on steroids – or a low grade beaver tranquilizer, as it was in Bernice’s case. I made the bikini top from a Hannah Montana shirt and some ribbon and those are obviously my real muscles.
Sidenote: This muscle shirt is perfect to wear out to the bar on a brisk fall evening that’s not Halloween. It’s like you’re naked but you don’t need to carry a coat. It’s awesome. I have no idea who those dudes are in front. Dressing up on Not-Halloween might be my favorite, this was the funnest night ever.
Cheap bandana + tiny straw hat from the doll making section at HobLob = Cowboy
Keep it sexy and go as Maverick from Top Gun.
Dudes, you could certainly get in on this slutty Halloween trend and pair this Pants Goblin shirt with your best underoos. Nothing says addiction like a Pants Goblin who eats his own pants. One word; Manscaping. Do it, don’t be rude.
You could always get a rental, though…
While you’re out there collecting your candy, just make sure you keep your holiday pranks classy. And hilarious.
For more sharty Halloween ideas and inspiration, you can follow my Halloween board on Pinterest.
What’s the funniest costume you’ve ever worn for Halloween?!