If you spend any amount of time on the internet, you know that internet trolls exist. I have no idea what kind of pleasure they get from insulting or belittling people while hiding behind their computer screen, but the fact is, they’re out there. And they’re jerks.
But that’s just who they are, and the only real thing we can do to fight them is to love them. And, y’all, that is SO hard. I will admit that I have enjoyed “poking the bear” when people post rude comments on something of mine that was shared on another site or via social media. I mean, I just assume that since I sh!t rainbows and sunshine, that everyone else does too and that we can all just relax our sphincters and have a jolly good laugh. But that’s so wrong. Some people get legitimately heated over internet comments.
We’ve all heard stories about youngsters committing suicide over cyber-bullying and I think we can all agree that it is such a shame. Words can pierce like swords and we all have a responsibility to not be total a-holes, not just on the internet, but in life in general. On the flip side, haters are gonna hate, that’s what they do, you just gotta keep on bein’ you. Love yourself, love your neighbor and don’t be a troll.
With all that being said, I thought it would be fun to post some of my worst comments here for some giggles. Please know that I am not posting these to get sympathy. I think laughing it off is very important and as much as this is for you to get a chuckle out of, it’s also to help me take the wind right outta their sails. And feel free to analyze the fact that I keep these screen shots in a folder on my desktop. These comments do affect me, I’m human, but they also fuel me. Here we go.
This is one is pretty mild. I got this via Facebook message from someone who reps a well known paper goods line at Jo-Ann.
I responded back with something along the lines of “You’ve never sharted yourself?!” and I don’t think I heard back.
This one was on a post shared by Apartment Therapy. It’s understandable that people don’t think it’s funny. Actually, no it’s not. It’s funny.
I’m not sure what “being a grown woman” has to do with anything. In fact, I’m certain that age and the likelihood of sharting are directly related. Just ask the adult-diaper companies.
Here’s another from Canada…
…and another from the trolls over at Apartment Therapy. If you’re a blogger and you submit content to AT, you know they can brutal over there.
And then there was that time that HouseBeautiful shared my kitchen reno on their blog and Facebook page.
This wonderful man clearly hates my Cesca Chair makeover shared by the lovely people over at Hometalk…
And then there was the “hideous handrail” fiasco on Hometalk when they shared our home reno from our Texas house. A little backstory here – There was a handrail out front, it was ugly, so I kicked it down and jokingly added “Sorry old folks”. The back entrance of our house was level and that was where our older relatives entered the home anyway. Although I stated that fact several times in the Hometalk post and the Facebook post , we all know that internet trolls can’t actually read, so they continued to post nasty comments.
Uhm, of course I’ve excluded a large number of people from getting into my home. Why would want a large number of people in my home?!
This person clearly knows me personally…
But a couple of hilarious high school friends came to the rescue with some comic relief…
This guy obviously has a vivid imagination….
When people project that kind of bullsh on to someone else… you can only laugh.
This woman had a kind reminder for me…
I will be there one day. And I will STILL be laughing at poop jokes and kicking down hideous handrails.
And, dudes, this one confuses the heck outta me….
Your chickens will lay organic eggs? Because you’re better than me? Because I inject my imaginary chickens with hormones? Because you’re off your rocker?!
So. Weird.
I have to admit, these last two make my heart race a little bit.
A little more adversity? Remind me, have we met?! Do you know what I’ve been through in my life?!
No. All the more reason to laugh at your ridiculous comment.
This one was deleted by the admin of Hometalk but not before I copied and pasted it into a text to a friend:
Having lost my mother, this comment is understandably hurtful. But I am confident that both of my parents and everyone else in my family and all those important in my life do love me and are proud of me – even if that were not the case, I am proud of me. I’m also pretty confident that that handrail was hideous and it’s my house to do with as I please.
I know my worth and I am proud of myself, feel free to say what you want. We live in a country where free speech is a right and we have God-given free will. But please, please remember that not everyone thinks these people are ridiculous trolls worthy of laughter. Some people put real stock in what others think of them and these comments can truly hurt those who aren’t at their best.
I will continue to update this page as the internet trolls will undoubtedly come out again to throw their feces at my projects while attacking my character.
Let’s laugh it off together.
Y’all. Love yourself. Love your neighbor.
And don’t be a d!ck.
*** UPDATE 1/10/2016 ***
I’m a monster. An arrogant, stupid woman with an ugly heart. Forget that I spend a good amount of my time volunteering. I’m a dang monster.
I recently posted about a campaign dresser I picked up. The post begins by stating that this is a “fish tale”. Clearly no one goes fishing anymore unless it’s on an app on their phone, so no one understood that this story was an extreme exaggeration of what actually happened. There was a garage sale, a loooong dirt road, a sign, a child, a man and, of course, a dresser. Other than those facts, the rest is completely over-the-top embellished (see “fish tale”) to emphasize the fact that this entire thing was, as titled, a nightmare. The long dirt road seemingly leading to nowhere, the trouble getting the piece in and out of the car, the actual work on the project and patching allllll those holes. It was a pain, and this was my attempt to express this to my readers in a creative way rather than by just saying “this was a pain.” But Hometalk and Facebook readers obviously thought that I was a monster. A giggle monster, maybe.
On with the comments:
Aside from the fact that I already said it was highly exaggerated, of course I gave him less than it was worth. That’s what you call a deal. What was I supposed to say “Oh no, sir… Each one of these pulls is worth at least 30 bucks each on Etsy and for 12 with the additional L-brackets and the actual furniture… lemme give you $400 bucks.” This is why people shop at thrift stores and garage sales.
So, what you’re saying is that you prefer I talk about this in private? How about we talk about how no one is talking about how scary The Shining is. Those twins, the redrum finger. That redrum voice! Why is Stephen King not in trouble for this? I’m not ashamed of myself because it was an exaggeration, which was clearly stated as well as so extremely overblown that I figured no one would actually think that either a) I was about to be murdered by a child or b) that John Quinones was going to jump out from behind a dang washing machine. The facts is, I was uncomfortable picking up a piece of furniture without my husband in tow, from a man who could have clearly overpowered me had he wanted to. Any woman who doesn’t have concerns like that when purchasing from a stranger needs a good dose of, well… horror movies (don’t hide in the closet, he WILL find you – also, don’t go swimming and don’t get on that boat). This is why certain blogs have a certain audience, people who “get it” and follow along and know that I would and have given up my own money/items or whatever to help a child in need. So, thanks. You know what I do have the grace for? Forgiving that you judged me based on a fish tale. Ehthankyou.
It’s black. Black as coal. Hold on, are medium children still fair game? Also, child labor laws.
If you didn’t care about the makeover, you should have kept scrolling rather than join the mob on this one. Don’t like it? Don’t look at it.
ps. Have you seen The Shining? Children of the Corn?
I’m so rude that I didn’t even respond to these hateful comments about some things said in jest. Again, they’re not my audience and clearly doing furniture makeovers is very, very serious business.
I’ve read it several times and the only thing I realize is that it’s funny when you take it for what it is. I’m still amazed that these people seem to think that I don’t see these posts…. Or maybe they do, I guess they don’t care. Out of all the hateful comments, only ONE person had the cacahuates to comment here on the blog, which I approved and responded to. Even after I deleted the ridiculous details of the story from the HT site, people still were coming to the blog to read the post and then go back to Facebook to join in on the mob-hatefulness. Say it to me. Say it TO ME. Better yet, keep it to yourself. Even better, change your attitude and remind yourself that you do not know me.
You could argue that I should be doing the same and addressing these people in the forum on which they commented, but I refuse to fuel their fire. Again, I’ve gotta shake it off, not let them win and realize that people don’t always “get it” and that maybe I need to work on my delivery and creative writing skills. Why would I even have a blog if all I was going to do was say
“Before”
“After”
“Bye”
Ugh.
This comment was posted on Facebook on my post about how to remove rust from chrome using tin foil.
Okay, this one, I like. I have a vivid imagination and just thinking about the word “blathering” is hilarious to me. Like, a giant tongue and lots of spit being spilled out of a mouth at an extremely slow place with words that don’t even make sense. Maybe bits of spinach flying around. Also, daft. Adding that to my vocab asap. Big props to the 19th century and this guy’s new thesaurus. Also, I didn’t crop out any part of this comment… it just trails off like that. What? Soak your brain with what? A gallon of mead?
So, I could have faced these recent events with a slew of comments meticulously detailing each of the ways I am charitable and how I spend my free time and money, but that’s wrong and wouldn’t accomplish anything. The best I can do is to squash it. Squash it with humor, let it roll right off and know in my heart that I am a good person. God knows the truth. God knows I try to love even the jerkiest of jerks.
My new years resolution for 2016 is to love. Each week I plan on randomly selecting one person from my FB friend list and sending some love their way. I will also select another to send a hand written note. Hoping that this will send out some love ripples and maybe we can all love on each other a little more. I made this resolution in December, prior to this beat-down of a life-suck, but this made it clear that we are all in such dire need of a good, long laugh and a strong hug together, that its unreal. It’s only week one but I’m already enjoying the reactions I’ve gotten from the recipients. If you need a resolution, steal this one. #LoveRipples2016 Put ’em out there, bro.
Also, don’t hug me. It weirds me out to press my boobs against another person that isn’t my husband. Butt out, long armed hugs are cool, though.
I nearly sharted my pants laughing over the ignorance of the haters. Apparently humor is in the eye of the beholder. Just stay yourself. Until they become real, the rest of us adore you and your work.
Thank you so much, Robin!!!
Dena my dear, you said it best HATERS GONNA HATE! Don’t give them any more of your valuable time or space on your website. Continue to do you and those who appreciate that life is short and a sense of humor is priceless will continue to support your crafty efforts and visit your site.
You are doing a great job. I LOVE YOUR SITE, just happened upon it today.
Thank you and God bless you and the family.
Thank you tons, Chrissy! God bless you as well!
Dena, I love your blog and the name of your blog…..it’s hilarious, and a part of life, and that you ‘put it out there’ just tickles me to death and wishes we were best friends in real life. 🙂
Please don’t change. Haters will hate and potatoes will potate.
Hahahaha! I lol’d at the potate comment! So funny. Thank you so much, Kim!
We could be best friends. I love your storytelling. Forget those cotton-headed ninny muggins!
Hhaahaha! Thank you, Ashley!
Amen Sister! Dena, I’m new to the blogging thing, have very little time to throw away on Facebook, and could care less what mindless automatons have to say about people the have never met and most likely won’t have any influence for good in the world. Too many mean-hearted folks like to kick and scream just for the attention they crave — I refuse to get sucked into their darkness. I prefer to color a bit outside the lines and find some things terribly funny even if I have to admit the are NOT!!!
I find you to refreshingly honest — yes, I have experienced the shart — not something I planned and don’t look forward to the next experience. However, the closer I get to 60 the more likely it is to becoming a common occurrence. So rather than railing about how awful it was, is, will be I chose to go forth without fear to face each day with a panty liner firmly in place on the off chance that it will be needed. To laugh with abandon — regardless of the bad behavior of my own or anyone else’s bowels.
I find you r projects, attitude, and sense of humor wonderful whether we agree on everything or not I am smiling at the moment and look forward to your next effort. So keep being yourself and those of us who can and do actually real what you write for the entertainment, education, edification, whatever will continue to enjoy:)
Sending you a giant high five right now. Thank you LaurieAnn!
Ninny muggins. LOVE it!!! High ten!
High ten right back atcha, girl!
I think your blog name, and you, are hilarious. A breath of fresh air in an insanely PC world. I agree with the comment about people being wound too tight. I wish you lived next door, I would come over and say “whatcha doin?” every single day.
Aw, thank you Vallie! If you came over every day, I would hafta put you to work!
Before I knew it, this turned into quite a long comment. Anyway…
Man, can I SO relate to this post. I too get crap, even from close friends, about my cursing on the blog, and I find it hilarious. These are often the same people who will sit right next to me in a BAR while dropping f-bombs about work. How is it a SURPRISE when they see me use the word “shitstick” on the blog then? Gasp, no…. not a foul word! Oh my stars. (Baffling, that logic of theirs.)
The good news is, people don’t complain about something they have no opinion on, and companies like KFC just spent millions trying to even register on someone’s radar; you did that in a single word in a blog name.
When the hate gets particularly mean, I also tell myself that it’s not like my ego couldn’t use a good kick in the ass every now and then to make me more humble. So, it’s better to embrace some of these nasty comments and let them marinate for positive momentum… instead of allowing it to make that awful little doubt monster that we all have in our heads more powerful. And then I imagine these people as uncomfortable, angry little people who probably got their car towed an hour ago and have a wedgie in the middle of a PTA meeting, and then I feel like maybe my Facebook page was where they could finally release some of that tension.
I admire your backbone and appreciate your sense of humor. There’s a reason that Hometalk and Apartment Therapy are the places that get a majority of these kinds of comments: because they know they’ll be a minority (or not seen at all) if they were to try to come to YOUR house and say it right to you. They also know it’s rude, and that’s why they already say “sorry”, as if it dismisses or neutralizes their comment (even though we all know it doesn’t). They wouldn’t feel the need to even include the word otherwise.
Keep doing you. Some will get it, others won’t. The internet is wonderful because it gives folks like me and you a voice to share a part of ourselves with people who we might otherwise never meet. But the downside is that gives others who will NEVER like us, no matter how hard one tries (IF we were to try at all), to spread their venom, and that’s okay too. I’d rather take the good that comes with that than shut down entirely to satisfy someone else (I could make a bad college boyfriend joke here, but I won’t). Keep it up!
Oh, Sarah. Thank you! Amen to every.single.bit. of this. I truly value your opinion and your advice (Uhm, hello, no more watermarks!) and I so appreciate you taking the time to comment. Also, shitstick. Hilarious. Also a little gross when you think of it literally. Like, what is that? Hopefully I’ll get to see you again one of these days and we can curse at everything super loud. Thank you again, Sarah!
Lawd, have mercy!!
Keep doing what you’re doing and let the haters drink their tea and eat their crumpets.
I’ve never thought twice about your ur blog name- it’s the content of your blog that I’m interested in. Everything is down to earth and easy to understand. Thanks for that.
What gets right up my nose are the blogs the are so full of ad content and obviously more of a money making blog than a helpful DIY. I just quickly move on to other site, when I encounter those useless, time wasting, money makers. Thank you for your blog!! I really appreciate every bit of it.
Be sweet, if you wanna and have a good damn day ???
Thank you for the sweet words, Leslie! Really means a lot to me, thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope you have a fabulous day and a friggin’ incredible week!
Can I just say that I really don’t understand this? First of all. . .am I the last person on earth to learn the meaning of “shart”??? And the only thing I can think is “Mercy! I hope that doesn’t happen in public!” 🙂 Beyond that, if Dena happens to like the word. . .or the action, I guess. . .what should it matter to me??? Also, why post a mean comment? If you don’t like a remodel, a re-do, or a diy, just move along with your day. Not everything appeals to everybody and I’m pretty sure if this isn’t your style, you’ll find your style somewhere else on the internet. There’s no need for ugliness. Ever. If you can’t handle the author’s style or style of writing. . .go find something that you can handle. Ok. Soapbox. Done.
I don’t understand it either, Cheri. It seriously boggles my mind. Where were these type of people before the internet came along? For some reason there are people who think that in order to get along, we all need to think the same way. We can disagree on something and still be friends, no need to get nasty. I’m right with ya up there on that soapbox, hun. Thank you for the love!
I love you too. The title and your wacky sense of humour. This is what draws me to your blog. I always feel sorry for people who must strike out. Are they so unhappy with themselves that they must make others suffer as well? Keep on doing what you do no matter what other people think. It is a well known fact that people who must be negative are more vocal than those who aren’t. So looking at it another way, there are far more positive follows than negative ones!
Thank you for taking the time to comment, Ann! I appreciate the kind words.
Okay straight up cry-laughing at your comments about “blathering”!
The haters may hate, but I appreciate!
Keep doing you, Dena. I’ll be here.
Cry-laughing is the best! Glad I was a part of that! Sounds like you have the same vivid imagination and love of slapstick that I do, because, blathering… so funny. Thank you for the encouragement, Jamie!
Wow. Some people are just stupid. I hate to use that word but it is fitting for these people. I love your blog and the name is catchy. They can get over it as far as I am concerned. If they get that excited over a blog name then they really need to get a life. Please keep on doing what you’re doing…..these people are of no value to your life in the long run, and although THEY may think they are funny the rest of us think they’re ridiculously lame.
Thank you, Jennifer! I think the name is catchy, too. DIY and DooDoo was a close runner up but it doesn’t rhyme, so… 🙂
You and your blog are awesome, and I look forward to it every week. I don’t care what anybody says…..you rock! Keep up the good work!
Janet
Thank you so much, Janet! YOU rock!
I for one, did not really know what Shart was….until I read your post today. I enjoy seeing what you have created, and you like some things and some you don’t but that is why BR makes 31 flavors of ice cream.
I have always been afraid of putting myself out there for the critics of the world to flip in the air for awhile prior to devouring me. That fear has held me back from accomplishing so much as an artist.
I applaud you for your sweet blog, Who cares about the name, I think you are talented and courageous. Keep up the good work and as you say, laugh it off.
My hypersensitive self could take a lesson…
Thanks, Maureen. It stings a bit at first but as long as you are creating something that YOU love and are confident and passionate about, other people that feel the same way will find you and appreciate your art the same way you do. I would not have never realized that if I didn’t have this blog and readers like you. It’s a risk, but it’s worth it, every time. To help someone, to make them laugh, whatever it is, it’s worth it. Get out there and fly that freak flag!
You are hilarious! I agree with you that people hide behind whatever device they’re currently using to be hateful. I think they are cowards. You’re right you do have to laugh at this stuff. Your work is good, you are good with yourself and that’s what counts. Keep ’em coming girlfriend! Loved this post! You know what they say if you can’t take a joke…….
Thanks, Sally! Where did hateful people hide before the internet?! I hate to admit this but I don’t know what they say if you can’t take a joke… get out of the kitchen?
I love your blog name! I also find your stories that go along with your projects very funny and enjoyable. I think you have a great sense of humor and the people who get offended are the reason everything & everyone has to be so politically correct these days. I think some people get offended just for the sake of getting offended! I love your attitude about all of the rude comments.
Thank you, Terrie! I gotta say, it took a serious attitude adjustment to get where I could react this way to the nasty comments… and it needs regular readjusting just to stay int he right frame of mind. I agree with you that people get offended just for the sake of it. Gah, get a hobby, amiright!?
I don’t see anything wrong with it, it’s meant to be funny and your just saying whats on your mind ( but then again you always have) . You just keep being you !! Love it when people keep a since of humor.
Thanks, Ken. If I didn’t have a sense of humor, I wouldn’t be me… and I gotta be me. 🙂
Dena,
As a fellow lover of Jesus, I can honestly say that you and this blog has been just an incredible blessing to me in the last few months. And you’re right, haters gonna hate. I think that your “childlike behavior” is an absolute breath of fresh air. God Bless you, dear.
From a 28 year old children’s librarian (with two masters degrees) that thinks the word “shart” is HILARIOUS.
This comment is awesome for so many reasons, Jessica! Thank you so much for the kind words and I am so happy to hear that I might’ve helped you in some way. Makes me smile. The next time you tell someone in the the library to “shhh” you should quietly add an “art” at the end as you walk away. “Shhhhhhh(art)”. Hhahahaha. Omg, and please film it because I’m laughing so hard right now. Thank you, Jessica!
The only reason this blog caught my eye was Sharts in your title! Then it led me to dig deeper and discover I am totally vibing this crafty chick’s DIY craft work! So, I had to subscribe to get that Heartsy Shartsy goodness all of the time! You keep rocking girl! Like you said, haters gonna hate!
Thank you so much, Shanna! I’m still waiting for the Sharty title to catch someone’s eye who has bowel issues and send me a mean email… 🙂
Oh, Dena. These people are wound waaaaaaay too tight and have no sense of humor WHATSOEVER, so they CERTAINLY aren’t going to get yours, being that you were gifted with massive amounts of it. I LOOOOVE your humor. Keep doing what you do, and being who you are. You do it SO well 🙂 This post was great amounts of fun to read by the way, and sends a great message at the same time.
Thank you so much, Colleen!! Muah!
dena baby, i am 66 and one of your biggest fans, you have made me roar and think too, and you are a much bigger person than me because i would like to pow to the moon some of these rude ass idiots, i read posts on home talk and report them to the admin, because i have found there is no way to reason with them so i guess i will try to say God bless you to them first before i report them xx
You’re one of my favs, Monkey! If I were to respond with my knee jerk reaction to these kinds of people, it wouldn’t be pretty. I’ve gotta step back and take a breath before I can get it together. I report rude hometalkers, too. I do it with a real hard mouse click, makes me feel better. Thank you for all the support!!!
Regretfully we live in a world were a lot of people think they know whats best for everyone and how everyone should think and act. I like your blog and I like your sense of humor so I read your blog. If someone doesn’t like it why don’t they just not read it instead of being mean and judging (doesn’t that make them just like the thing they are complaining about you doing/being).
Yeah, I don’t get it either, Pam. Thank you for the sweet comment!!
Have only followed a short time, but the first time I saw it I KNEW this was my type of blog. You are hilarious , smart and have a ton of Faith. I followed HT for a week and every single post on there had a majority of negative comments, so much so that the admin addressed it and said that she would remove them all. I am so glad I found you (Pinterest, I think). Keep lovin’ and laughin’, I’m right there with you.
Kathy in snowy, cold Michigan
Thank you, Kathy! I think as soon as there is one bad comment, the haters pile on, it stinks. Oh gosh, Michigan?! I bet you are fuh-reezing up there, Kathy! Stay warm, girl!
Your blog is one of my favorites, especially because of the title! LOL! If anyone out there hasn’t had a child (or they themselves) “shart”, then they truly live in a rainbow-unicorn-kitty-cat world.
Can’t please everyone but that’s why they can go somewhere else. “Bye Felicia!”
Thank you, Judy! You can’t please everyone… I just don’t know why people get so upset and think that we should all think the same way. Bye Felicia! Thank you again, Judy!
I don’t comment often, but this seemed a good time to say that it absolutely makes me happy just to know that you’re out there openly sharing your sense of humor (whether I get it or not), right up there with the bible verse printables 😉 Your blog has what my highschool English teacher always said we should aim for, a “voice,” and unlike many of the others I read, it hasn’t be sterilized for the mass market. I love your blog just for that (ok… and also for all the furniture makeovers).
Thank you so much, Steph! You’ve made my day!!!